girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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