It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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