Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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