i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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