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rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
