whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
