My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
