don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
