I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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