is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
