i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
How does one acquire holy water?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
