dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
