Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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