chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
