ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
