I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
