Fine. I'll sleep in my office
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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