He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
