so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
