ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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