Have you finally orgasmed yet?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
