Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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