We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
