Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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