part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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