The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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