Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
