yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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