No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
