quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
