The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
