dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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