It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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