dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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