I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I got her a Nickelback box set.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
