So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
