sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
