i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
