he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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