So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
