connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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