you guys were way drunker than both of me
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
