i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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