chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
All I want is dick and wine.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize