This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
