so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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