I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
