Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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