3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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