If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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